I must admit, as a girl, I’ve always felt dumb.
I don’t know if this is because I’m a girl,
or because I’m Megan.
I’ve just always had this feeling that I wasn’t smart enough to learn or talk about “smarty” topics – such as history, religion, politics, etc.
It’s as if I always fell into the ‘dumb blonde’ category and never tried to get out of it.
I don’t know how I got this perception of myself, and in fact, for many years I didn’t even know I had it.
I’ve really only realized it in the last few years, really in the last few years I’ve been married.
David is good at reminding me I’m not dumb.
And as odd as it may seem to you (or maybe it doesn’t, do any other girls feel this way?), I wouldn’t read about certain subjects or topics just because I assumed I wasn’t smart enough to figure them out.
I might be thoroughly interested in something (in Biblical history for example), but I would just wait for David to read about it and tell me about it, I never would ‘learn’ about it for myself.
In fact, I even began to believe I wasn’t smart enough to read the Bible and see what it is ‘really’ saying. I mean, I’d read it, but I wouldn’t ‘venture’ into any study on my own that was really interesting me, assuming I couldn’t ‘figure’ it out.
When it started becoming more of a faith issue – and I began to see how this ‘feeling dumb’ was interfering with my diving into the Word – this is when I began to take note and try to change it.
I have not overcome this (by any means). I still feel ‘dumb’ at many times, and even call myself ‘dumb’ (to which David promptly corrects me), but I want to take action against this feeling of ‘dumbness.’
My first step towards not being ‘dumb?’
I read Sex God by Rob Bell.
Before, I honestly believed that I wasn’t smart enough to understand what Rob Bell was saying, so I never tried to read his books. I just waited til David would read it, then I’d hear his opinions.
Why is it that I feel this way? Do all girls feel this way? Are we being told we are the less-intelligent sex by society? Or do we create these ideas/issues on our own, perhaps due to low self-esteem?
I know there are intelligent women in the world. But, the women I think of as being brilliant in my mind usually relate to art, poetry, writing, acting, serving, etc. No amazing scientists or Bible scholars come to mind.
Is this because I am not seeing these intelligent women, or because they are hard to find? Is it more common to find a woman who is good at writing a haiku poem, then one who could rival Albert Einstein on a physics exam?
Sometimes it still amazes me we haven’t had a woman president, and the fact that women still make 75 cents on the male dollar for the same job performed really ticks me off.
But I want to start changing some of these ideas I have about myself and women in general – Girls aren’t dumb and neither am I!
More things I’m going to do to show myself I’m not dumb (because that’s the real person I need to prove it to):
* do a study of Jesus’ life (I have been interested in doing this for a while, to see what being a “Christ-follower” really means)
* Read Pride & Prejudice (I’ve owned it and never read it)
* Learn more about veggie oil (could we convert a car someday?)
* Start selling my thrift finds online (hopefully you’ll hear more about that soon!)
I’ll just start there – start small – so I have a better chance at accomplishing them.
So I just wonder, have any other girls felt this way? Have you felt dumb? Is this because we are girls, are we treated this way by society?
(Pictures: First, when I was 2 or 3, looking very intelligent & pictures of some of my favorite girl’s and I, all who are not dumb)
dd said,
October 16, 2007 @ 1:22 am
Hi Megan,
Hope you don’t mind some random stranger keeps commenting on your blog. Just the topics on your blog, and how organized they are, kind of show that you’re not dumb, eh?
Really interesting topic, especially to me, I think I come from the other end. I’ve never felt dumb or that I couldn’t do anything that accomplished and smart men could do intellectually, but I grew up seeing other women seem to be stuck in that trap, and I totally could not understand it. The unanswered question is why do some women grow up this way, while I and some others did not?
I think it would be fascinating and helpful if perhaps you ever figured out where it came from. Knowing the sources of the problem could perhaps help us not raise girls in this way.
On my end, from as far back as I can remember, I grew up playing with blocks, legos, tinker toys, computers, electronics, puzzles, bikes, matchbox cars, reading a variety of children’s books including science and math books, and my mom would ask us math questions related to everyday things. I think these kinds of toys train the mind for math and science thinking. I didn’t really have any dolls, only a few Barbies for when friends came over, but I rarely played with them myself. So I kind of noticed that other girls played with and did different things, but didn’t know about gender issues until many years later.
eric said,
October 16, 2007 @ 8:18 am
i know a lot of dumb people
you are not one of them
you may not be able to build a steeple
but you’re focused on Him.
there’s a lot of stuff out there to know
and we’ll never know all of it
but we can target one area to grow
and hope for the best someday to get.
alright, so maybe i should leave the poetry to the smart women and not the dumb dudes. i applaud your willingness to expand your brain.
i could say that girls are just smarter in different ways than guys, but let me put it this way… guys are dumb in spots where girls are smart. guys can focus on the big picture, but girls’ attention to detail gets the job done. this is why i think engineers need to be women.
speaking of engineers… have you ever noticed how guy geeks are… well… geeks. but girl geeks are cute? i think it’s totally hot when sarah talks star wars with me.
the pay for women bothers me, too. 75 cents for every dollar? man, that must suck being paid in change, too. that’s just wrong.
one more thing and i’ll stop this huge comment…
i think it’s ok to be dumb in certain areas of your life and to admit it. there’s hardly nothing more annoying than someone trying to talk car to me, pretending to know what they’re saying, but making absolutely NO sense. likewise, i bet dave would tell you it’s easy to spot a BSer when they start talking graphics and photoshop. these people should just admit to themselves they’re dumb when it comes to cars and design. i’ll admit that like design stuff, but i’ll also admit that’s why i’m in school for it. i need to learn more about it. i’m design dumb.
but being dumb in general… well, nobody i’m good friends with is dumb.
now go have fun being smart today!
bye!
sarah c. said,
October 16, 2007 @ 8:52 am
hey megan!
i think you are brilliant!!! i admire you!! and that picture of you as a little girl – now that is one smart looking kid!!
but yes, i too think i am dumb all the time, so i understand. you are not alone.
however, we are very lucky because we have 2 great guys that will remind us we are NOT dumb. eric is always encouraging me and I’m sure dave does the same for you. we just have to convince ourselves of this truth!!
anyway, good luck with your goals; i would love to do a study on Jesus’ life someday. i did go to Christian college, but i don’t remember everything in the Bible. shhh. don’t tell anyone.
charliedean said,
October 16, 2007 @ 9:45 am
Megan,
I’m not sure if you’re feeling “dumb” is a function of your gender as much as it is a function of our culture — where we have to wait for the “professionals” to lead the way. For example…I feel dumb about computers…so I have to wait for a pro to help me. It used to be that individuals could have a solid grasp of all areas of knowledge (think daVinci or other “Renaissance Men”)…but now, with so much knowledge, it’s inevitable that we feel increasingly dumb. Frankly, more knowledge is being discovered that one can possibly keep up with and so, in a sense, we’re all getting dumber every second.
I think the most disturbing aspect to your post is that people look at Christianity the same way and they avoid wading in because they perceive that the water’s too deep. The thing is…and I think you illustrate this with your own actions…you have to get in and it may feel like it’s over your head…but pretty soon, you’ll figure out how to tread water…and eventually you’ll learn to swim.
The key is…nothing worth having comes easy. The only way to get past feeling dumb is to try anyway and be willing to learn…and ask questions…and, like Eric said, don’t be an arrogant SOB, pretending that you know everything when you don’t. (okay, I may have taken some liberties w/ Eric’s comment…but you get the point!) The thing is…especially when it comes to matters of faith…the more I read, the more I study, the more I know God…the more convinced I am that I really know nothing at all!
Shana said,
October 16, 2007 @ 11:51 am
Megan – I totally understand where you’re coming from. I try to read Time magazine once in awhile and although sometimes I have no idea what they are talking about regarding politics, I still read it hoping that someday it may just all “click”. Maybe someday I will contribute to a conversation about politics/religion and I will surprise myself because I didn’t think I could. The information is in my head but I don’t feel like I can always articulate what I am trying to say.
Dave said,
October 16, 2007 @ 2:30 pm
I’m glad to be married to an incredibly brilliant woman! I think your blog (this post especially) proves you’re not dumb.
liveh2o said,
October 17, 2007 @ 12:11 pm
Well Megan, I am kind of surprised by this post, because I have never thought of you as dumb, or recognized that you thought it about yourself. Sure, you might have issues with grasping concepts of math or science, but that doesn’t mean that you are dumb. Being able to grasp complex the logical processes that form the foundation for these fields of study is not for everybody. If it were, everyone would be a scientist, or a mathematician.
Likewise, as Charlie stated, there is so much knowledge available to us that it is all but impossible to keep up with. I think that what defines intelligence is not how much knowledge one retains (that is simply being book-smart). Anyone can read other peoples opinions or research on something and regurgitate it. To me, what defines intelligence is the ability take in knowledge, and then to draw your own conclusions from it, to apply that knowledge in your life, and to your opinions.
A prime example of this is your green conversion. You were exposed to information about environmental issues, which you then took an applied to your life. You expanded your knowledge, continually finding new ways to be green, etc.
Furthermore, the fact that you are asking questions indicates that you are not dumb. Acknowledging that you don’t know much about something, and then seeking to fill the gap is also a sign of intelligence (in my book at least).
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I have always thought of you as smart, and that I suddenly find myself reminded of a song sung by one Homer J Simpson, which illustrates that unlike you, he is, in fact, dumb:
“I am smart. I am smart. S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T.”
(Doh!)
Pimpa said,
October 31, 2007 @ 6:35 am
Hi Megan,
this was a good topic that you brought up. I am a female, but unlike you I don’t want to characterise dumbness to the female side alone. Nowadays, though, I catch myself wondering about wether am just dumb or my 4 hours a day of study are just not enough. But instead of sticking to gender, I think that maybe there are just two kinds of people out there; the smart ones (them!) and the dumb ones (us!). And maybe a third type that must cram hard in order to get hard! (ie, not naturaly so but in order to see results one must work harder).
Or is it maybe that we are (were) so dumb at one point and we are were we are (smarter… less dumb) because of our learning years so far, and others have just learned more than I have? Is that it?
Why is it that no matter how hard I try, I cannot fully grasp the concept of math?