That’s Swell

I thought I would share with you My Story. I have to remember some times that not everyone who reads this blog knows where I’ve come from, or knew me before I “went green.” In fact, of my close to 100 average daily readers, 10 are probably those who really “know” me. So I have decided to tell you my story. How did I come about doing this? Why do I care about the environment? Why do I care about simplifying my life or getting out of debt? Why do I do what I do? Today I will start with my “money” struggles. And my history with money, credit cards, debt and spending.

Editor’s Warning: This post is very long! I added sub-titles, so you can skim as needed.

The Early Years
Money and I have always had a love/hate relationship. I worked since I was 12 detassling every summer, as well as babysitting. Then from the time I was 15, I was regularly working 2 jobs (sometimes 3 jobs when I was 17,18). I had so much money pass through my hands. I could have easily had college saved for and maybe even paid for (if I had chosen a state school). But I didn’t. I never learned how to save. I mean, I was told I should, but I don’t feel I was ever taught the “tools” to do it. I didn’t even get a checking account until I was 18. I spent my money frivolously, with nothing to show for it. But I LOVED spending it!

College = Credit Cards
And when I got to college, I turned to credit cards. I had a CitiCard (0% APR for 6 months, I thought I’d pay it off by then, only a $800 limit – thankfully), a Bergner’s card (why?? I never shopped there much anyway! One day I went in, found a Columbia coat I “needed” and some Clinique makeup I couldn’t live without, so signed up for another credit card, with a $300 minimum, at 25% APR), and a Maurice’s Card (also, not a store I shop in THAT much, but I heard a girl at work say she had one, I think I wanted to be ‘cool’ and I did it too, I think a $500 limit, and like 21% APR). So though my limits were low on most the cards, I regularly maxed them all out, would pay $100 to get some “more room” and rack them up again.

E-Bay Phase
I even went through an e-Bay phase. I had no car on campus, so I turned to online shopping. Even then I bought pointless items I didn’t need. I just loved the “high” from winning the bid. I would get so wrapped into it. And I am so competitive, I would just want to win! It’s like gambling (which I will never let myself do, I know how I’d be!). And I just linked my PayPal to my credit card and didn’t think about my spending.

Nothing to show for it!
For sure, on my CitiCard I went through over $3,000 between all the years I had it – and for nothing! Nothing! I didn’t even buy textbooks or school supplies with it (my parent’s paid for that), I didn’t even buy ‘real’ clothes – just disposable, cheap $12 sweaters – I could have at least bought a laptop or something to show for it -but I didn’t. In fact, today the only thing I have left from my college credit card days is my Orange Columbia Jacket from Bergner’s, which I paid $90 for, and probably could have paid $50 at Kohl’s, and now I wish it wasn’t orange, but I will wear it til it has holes in it now!

Checking Account = Sleepless Nights
And then my checking account was a mess. I never knew how much money I had. I would hold my breathe everytime I handed the clerk my debit card because I had no idea if it would go through. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I can see that my money (and lack thereof) added to my anxiousness. I was always twisted in knots over “I shouldn’t have bought that on eBay!” or “Do I have money for my credit card payment?” It was horrible. this added to my sleeplessness and haste – my money ran my life.

Hiding from the Real Problems
I also can see now that my spending was so much apart of me hiding my other problems. The natural high you get from spending money, then you crash again, and repeat. I shopped because I was depressed. I shopped as a way to mask what was going on inside me. I had some pretty low points in college (amongst an eating disorder, severe depression, suididal thoughts, anxiety attacks, cutting, you name it), and once I finally started receiving help for all of this, my counselors helped reveal to me that my shopping habits were not about money, there was more behind it.

As I worked out those problems/issues, I think I did start to slow down my spending. Maybe it was also because I was focused on other things, and on top of all this craziness I got mono, so my first few years of college were pretty miserable at times, and I was sick for almost a year. This is when I first began to open my eyes to my true spending problems. But instead of facing them, I just turned to thrift stores, which was a cheaper alternative, however I would buy things just because “it was a good deal” even if I didn’t want it/need it.

Learning to Budget!
Luckily, in our marriage counseling (when I was 20, David 22), Charlie & Jen talked to us about budgeting and it was really the first time anyone had told me about it. I had no idea! I can’t imagine where we’d be if I hadn’t learned so much from Jen, I can’t imagine the marital problems we would have because of money. And then as a wedding present, we received Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover, which honestly changed my life. So we began assessing the debt that we had (he had a couple other credit cards, mainly racked up because of car repairs).

Paying Off our Credit Cards
Before we were married, I was able to pay off and close the Bergner’s and Maurice’s credit cards. Which was only around $1000 for both, but I did that in the summer before our wedding. Then after we got married, we slowly worked on paying off the rest of our credit cards (starting with the smallest). We even went ahead and transferred the money to one credit card, so we had one big amount to pay off, then “froze” that account, so we couldn’t use the card if we wanted to (which is good, I still have lapse’s where I’ll say “Come on David, let’s just throw it on a credit card, we’ll have it paid in a month! We just can’t miss this deal!” but he is good about reminding me we want to stay OUT of debt). After a year and a half of marriage, we paid off all our credit card debt and have been credit card free since Jan. 2007.

Money Still Burns a Hole in my Pocket
It is still so hard for me to save money. When I have it, it burns a whole in my pocket if I don’t spend it right away! And because of dealing with my self-image and always comparing myself to other girls, it is hard for me to not want to wear the ‘hottest’ new trends. So it is a slow battle for us to learn to budget. It doesn’t happen overnight. The biggest thing I have realized is differntiating between want and need. If I walked in to Target right now, I would want EVERYTHING! I love that store. But all I really need is maybe some Method Wipes and some Soy Candles. I also just have to avoid shopping. If I avoid the stores, I am content. I don’t need anything. I have plenty of clothes, plenty of knickknacks, I am content.

Honoring God with our Money
It is a learning process. Many other people don’t understand it. Others don’t understand why we don’t buy a new car, why don’t get a house, why we don’t keep a credit card, get higher paying jobs, or go out to eat each week after church. But to us, our money is blessed to us by God. He has entrusted us with it, to spend it wisely. So we are sure to give our money wisely, to our church and other causes. We are cautious to buy products that environmentally friendly. Whether is be a refurbished Mac, rather than a new one, a used car, jeans from the thrift store, or local, fair trade and organic food.

Contributing to our 401K
We have even started contributing to our 401K now (at age 22 and 24, we have an early start), putting away over $200 each month. Because we started early, our whole life we only have to put away $200 a month and we’ll be able to retire comfortably at 65. This means that we will be able to live comfortably when we retire, we hope to continue our frugal ways and use lots of this money to help our grandkids paying for college, etc. We are cautious of how we spend our money.

Uggh…Student Loans
We are not perfect. Unfortunately, all of my current schooling is being paid for with student loans. I wish we had the money to put towards it. And maybe if we worked harder, or I got another job, we could. But working at non-profits doesn’t pay much, so I think for where we are at, it’s okay for student loans. We also have our set backs. We have been married close to 2 years now, and we still only have our emergency fund ($1000) saved up, so we need to get better at putting 10% of each paycheck into savings (though, in a way, we do do this with the 401K), and start saving for a downpayment on a condo or house (though right now, I am very comfortable with renting and would be fine raising kids in an apartment/duplex).

My Closet is Full
And I still have my moments. It is hard to break my materialistic ways. I want so badly to buy the latest and greatest new trends. I want to “look cute.” I still own 10-15 purses, and probly 30 pairs of shoes, so I still need to work on what is a need and what is a want. But slowly but surely, we are getting control of our money, getting rid of our debt (all we owe now are student loans), and spending our money in a God honoring way.